Making Babies With Other Hockey Blogs

(A weekly feature on Blades of Funny where I share a few must-read articles from the hockey world, and then add in a lame joke. While it’s technically supposed to be posted on Friday, you never know with this thing because it has a mind of its own. Read something good? Send it in! Wrote something funny? Send it in! Want to tell me how much you hate me? I’d love to hear it!)

I haven’t done one of these in weeks and I’m making some huge changes with this series. Taking it in a whole different direction. Okay, really, just one change:  I dropped the “Friday” part from the title of the series because it didn’t make any sense when posted on another day. Branding be damned! If I had any long-time readers, it would be difficult for them to adjust to the new format. Thank goodness I don’t.

No hate mail, please. Thanks.

National Post – Bruce Arthur wrote a great piece on Brian Burke marching in a Pride Parade and, thereby, keeping a promise he made to his late son.

For all of the laughs and chuckles I have at Brian’s expense, I’ve always been impressed by the principles he lives by; even if many are crazy egotistical.

The world could use more men like him. I’m sure Bruins fans agree.

Oh man, make it stop! That’s what Brian said!

Okay, I’m going to hell. Just like Brian will according to the Christians!

I can’t stop, guys. Brian just can’t stop lovin’ them.

ENOUGH!

Hockey Independent -  Justin M. makes a pro-Kovalchuk case with regards to the Isles. I don’t agree with some of what’s said, but it’s a well-written and thought-out piece which gives the other side of my stance on this issue.

One thing I strongly disagree with is made in point #4:

With future extensions for Okposo, Tavares, Bailey, and the other prospects coming up, we obviously want to be very careful, however, we have enough room to sign them all to $7 million a year contracts and still have some cap space, that’s how well Snow has done financially. Furthermore, Yashin’s contract buyout dips down from a $4 million cap hit to only $2 million cap hit after this year, freeing up another $2 million. Also, we must remember that the salary cap increases anywhere from $1-2 million per year, freeing up even more space for the Islanders. If people are complaining that we are going to become Chicago Blackhawks 2.0, I think they better look again. The Islanders have kept players at such reasonable values that bringing in a player like Kovalchuk will not affect us financially, whatsoever! Bring on any “cap-ologist” and he will tell you the exact same thing

The Islanders “kept players at such reasonable values” because Snow’s roster is filled with entry-level guys and misfits that fill out the depth chart + Mark Streit and goaltending. It’s easy to stay economical when that’s the case. Most fans think short-term and are quick to cast aside cap issues for another day, but that free space can fill up quick when your players come off entry-level contracts and you start bringing in guys to upgrade your depth. Also, if the NHL’s cap number increases, so will future contracts.

I’m not against signing him at $10m, but it has to be for 5-6 years max. We’ve seen it time and time again with players that hit their mid 30′s and can no longer produce like they once could. How is it going to feel in 2016 when a 33-year-old Kovy is barely able to get 30 goals/60 points and still has 4 years left at that ticket? That’s not an unrealistic scenario.

Intent To Blow -  ITB has been coming out with some hilarious stuff, like this piece that ties Ilya to the Russian spies arrested by the FBI. When you visualize what’s written, it’s laugh-out-loud stuff. Clink.

Hockey or Die – Jonathan Willis takes Mike Brophy to task. I’m not saying that if my 93-year-old grandma wrote a hockey column, she’d bring more to the table than Brophy, but yeah, she would. And she has never seen a game.

"How could my brother do this to me?"

Flames Insider – Looks like Daymond Langkow’s season (and possibly his career) might be in trouble due to his crappy play his neck injury. This could turn out to be a break  for Sutter in not only the salary cap department (clearing room to sign Ian White without needing to make any more moves) but also the Jokinen PR department (since Olli was arguably the 2nd best UFA center available behind Lombardi). So the Jokinen signing gets upgraded from “OH MY GOD!!! WHY THE F*UCK DID HE DO THAT?!” to a “OH MY GOD!!! Why the f*ck did he do that?”

Flames Nation – I always enjoy reading Kent Wilson’s opinions on the Flames and in this one, he shares his views on their recent signings. If you’re wondering what he thinks of Olli’s puck-handling, wonder no more…

He handles the puck like a man stickhandles a brick with a fishing rod.

Puck Update -  Steven Ovadia takes a stab at figuring out what Sutter was thinking on July 1st. I know we’re getting a little too much Flames stuff in the links today but how could I not link to an article that includes the following line:

I think at this point in his career with the Flames, Iginla is just happy when the correct number of players show up for a game.

Don’t Trade Vinny – How Yzerman was able to unload Meszaros’ contract. Very funny.

Speaking of which, if you read my post on Saturday, I asked for some feedback on Meszaros because he was being portrayed by the media as the exact opposite of how I’ve always thought of him. DTV and Kevin from Stay Classy shared their thoughts in the comment section of that post. I love being right.

Down Goes Brown – DGB takes a look at some notable signings from recent years. A snippet:

Jason Blake, Toronto, 2007 – The Leafs agree to terms with Blake early in the day, although the actual contract signing is delayed several hours due to technical problems after it’s discovered that John Ferguson Jr. had earlier tried to fax himself a grilled cheese sandwich.

Sports Pickle – The 8 “athletes” you’ll see at the beach this summer. Not a hockey link but hilarious and fitting:

2. The Long-Distance Swimmer

In the water there is a generally agreed upon distance from the shore — about 50 yards or so — that no one goes beyond. And if you do, the lifeguard whistles you back closer to shore. But the Long-Distance Swimmer guy can’t hear the whistle because his head is in the water and he’s flailing away, apparently training to be the first man to swim across the Atlantic. Nor does he care, because he is Long-Distance Swimmer guy. No teenage lifeguard is going to stand in his way of immortality. No, the teenage lifeguard will only delay his mortality when he swims out to save Long-Distance Swimmer guy, who started to get tired and is now panicking and flailing around upon seeing he’s way way WAY too far out from shore.

Well, that’s that! Don’t forget to follow along on Twitter. To further market my Twitter stream, I plan to share with my followers candid bikini photos of my wife at the beach (just kidding, hun … *snap* *click* … oh yeah!).