Okay, the title is a bit dramatic but bear with me. Since September of last year, I’ve had the following stuff break down  in my life: main TV (colors went all cooky), 3 electric heaters in the house (all three just “poofed” in a span of a couple weeks), oven (after my wife did the self-cleaning on it, something overheated and it cost $150 to fix), the electrical outlets outside the house (I’m not even considering fixing this problem until spring),  the back window wiper motor of my vehicle just two weeks ago and to top it all off, on Thursday I hit a bumpy road and now have a problem with my air suspension (I had to lowride my way home and all that was missing from that scene was some rap music blaring through the speakers).

From what I could gather browsing the internet, this current problem could be the most expensive of all to fix with estimates ranging between $800-$2000. I’ll find out the exact damage tomorrow but I’m pretty sure it’ll result in me saying, “[expletive] [expletive] [expletive]!”

–Oh, and I’m catching a ride to the dealer with the flatbed towing guy who’ll be here at 7am. On a good day, I’m not a morning person, but on a cold winter day on which I know I’ll be having my wallet raped, I’m REALLY not a morning person. Hope the driver doesn’t mind awkward silence for the entire 20-minute ride, otherwise “[expletive] [expletive] [expletive]!”

–Oh, one more thing that you guys may find utterly hilarious. Last time I was at this dealer, I kind of got pissed off at them about something (I hate going to dealers for non-warranty service and avoid it unless absolutely necessary, so I always have a chip on my shoulder when I do go to one). Tomorrow I have to go back, like a puppy with his tail between his legs. (“[expletive] [expletive] [expletive]!”)

–If you’ve been following my Twitter for the past three days, you’ll see that I posted a 3-game parlay bet each day. All three days, I missed cashing in by 1 game. (“[expletive] [expletive] [expletive]!”)

–So yeah, if any of you placed this curse on me because I made some mean comment about something you like, please lift it. I’ve suffered enough! Oh, and “[expletive] [expletive] [expletive] you!”

–I don’t have much hockey commentary today, but if there was such a thing as being able to buy the Devils stock right now, I’d do it. They’ll be better in the second half of the season. Earlier this month, some guy dropped Martin Brodeur in one of my fantasy hockey leagues. I think that was the bottom!

–The internet is one big wasteland of crap — this site, for instance — but every now and then, I find something that captivates me greatly. The online archive of Time Magazine is one of those things. It’s such a fascinating look at yesteryear and humanity in general. Just take a look at the September 18, 1939 issue at the advent of WWII.

There’s quite a few hockey stories in the archive, too. Check out Ranger goalie  Dave Kerr, who graced the March 14, 1938 cover. The article serves as an introduction to the game and profiles the New York Rangers. At the beginning it compares hockey with baseball and includes this zinger:

Whereas baseball’s annual championship is a World Series in which the leading team of each league takes part, hockey’s championship is not a series between the leading teams but a complicated round robin (for a battered $50 cup) in which the three top teams of each division take part.

In the writer’s defense, the Cup back in the olden days did look like something you’d find at your Grandma’s house:

What’s weirder in the graphic above, the Stanley Cup looking like some spaceship probe or the cartoon bear taking a dump into it? Answer: None of the above, the weirdest thing is a player in a Maple Leafs  jersey holding it!

While reading another article from the February 11th, 1935 issue, I get the feeling that people in the 1930′s were not really all that bright.

By last week, the major-league hockey season was sufficiently advanced for experts to make their prophecies on how it will end next month, when the three leading teams in the two divisions-of the League play a complicated round-robin tournament for the world’s championship Stanley Cup.

Both hockey pieces I found from the 1930′s talk about how complicated the playoff format is. Mind you, the only odd thing was that the top teams in each division had a bye in the 1st round and had to play each other in the 2nd round. Imagine if the writer(s) had to deal with today’s scenario, the article would probably read: “A mind numbing, impossible to figure out format based on standings where most teams have more wins than losses. But the trophy is quite marvelous!”

Fast forward to February 24th, 1975 and you get quite possible the coolest Time cover ever:

Imagine the heart attacks in the NHL offices if this were hitting the newsstands today!

The article inside profiles Bernie Parent and also delves into the hockey violence topic, touching on some of the same themes we hear today:

The virus of violence has spread far beyond the player. The most chilling recent display was Boston Bruin Dave Forbes’ attack on Minnesota North Star Henry Boucha. In that incident, Forbes jammed the end of his stick into Boucha’s right eye, leaving Boucha, after surgery, with impaired vision. In an unprecedented criminal action against an N.H.L. player, Forbes was charged with aggravated assault with a dangerous weapon. His trial, now scheduled for May, could remove punishment for sport violence from the arena to the police and the courts.

Among the people most concerned over unfettered violence are the officials of junior-level competition. Because the Flyers’ buccaneering play attracts fans—most critics suggest that is precisely why the pros fight—the ethic of war has seeped down to younger players. The trend has become so disturbing in Canada that the Ontario government recently conducted an inquiry into violence in the region’s amateur hockey programs and, soon after, the Ontario Hockey Association set up new rules to halt brutality on the ice.

Can’t help but chuckle at that.

The intro of the article features some great writing:

He needs the glove of an all-star shortstop, the agility of a gold-medal gymnast, the reflexes of a championship racing-car driver, the eye of a .400 hitter and the mind of a geometrician. Even then he is nothing if he has not conquered fear, for he lives in a vortex of violence in the world’s fastest team sport. He is the hockey goalie, the masked man, the magnet for action in a war on ice.

As in no other sport, the essence of his game is violence —bodies hurtling, players smashing each other into the boards, sticks slashing, fists always at the ready. Even when the skating and body checking are clean—and they often are not—the play is fierce and frightening. And it is all directed at one target—the man in the reinforced fiber-glass mask.

Alone or in clusters, attackers bear down on him at breakneck speed, their razor-sharp blades ripping into the white ice. From any angle, in the open or from behind a screen of players, a shooter fires and the rock-hard puck hums toward the goalie at more than 100 m.p.h. He has less than a second to react. If he fails, there is no reprieve: the goalie is the last line of defense, the difference between winning and losing.

Chills, baby, chills!

Okay, I’ve rambled enough and I need to get ready for the NFL games. As always, follow along on Twitter if you want to be cool!

Jets +3.5, Packers -3.5. Book it!

This is my blogging outfit.

I’ve amassed over 800 followers on Twitter; I think it’s time for me to get a little smug. Since the “King” moniker is taken, I think I’m going to call myself  “Emperor” from now on.

“Emperor Blades of Funny”

I like the sound of that.

I wonder if my wife will go along with this new moniker? If she doesn’t, I’ll just have to remind her that I have over 800 followers, which makes me an online celebrity of sorts… and I can do better!

Yes, flat out lie to her until she caves.

Anyhoo, I know you’re dying to get my thoughts on the hockey world so let’s get to them, my loyal subjects…

–First up, I find it utterly amusing that people are trying to defend the Mikko Koivu contract as something other than an “overpayment” by a team desperate to retain their only core forward.

Michael Russo made the following tweets in defense of the signing:

I love all these overpaid comments. This had to be paid to retain him. What were the contracts of the last big centers to hit market?

Sundin, Briere, Drury, Gomez since new CBA came into existence. Sorry, Henrik Sedin was unique. Big centers get their $$ in free agency

I think everyone would agree that the examples listed are bad contracts, thus it doesn’t detract anything from the argument that Koivu was overpaid.

I like Koivu. I’d rather have him than any of the players listed above or someone like Plekanec at $5m (who I also think was paid too much over  too long of a term). But I’d rather have Mike Richards or Ryan Kesler on my team. The former is signed until age 35 at a cap hit of $5.75m, the latter until age 32 at $5m — now, I know they signed their contracts while still being restricted but I think both players compare to Koivu better than anyone else in the league and both gave up a good chunk of their UFA years when they signed their contracts.

At the end of the day, Koivu was overpaid by at least $1 million a year, in my opinion.

The Wild saw the oft-injured Gaborik ($7.5m) and the elder Rolston ($5m) walk in free agency and some say that they couldn’t risk that with Koivu. Blah, I say. The Rolston contract is a bad one and the Gaborik contract is a risky one. To me, Minnesota made the right choices there and have nothing to be ashamed of.

I read others who wrote that Koivu’s agent thought he’d be able to get $7 million on the open market. I doubt it, but even if that would turn out to be true, it doesn’t make it smart. I’m sorry, but I think the smart general managers are the ones who don’t take on contracts that could backfire.

The best case scenario is that Koivu lives up to the contract because I’m sure as sure can be that he won’t be able to surpass it. The contract provides no upside for the Wild and the potential to be really sucky (in my professional blogger opinion). And that’s why I think Koivu is overpaid!

–Prove me wrong, Mikko. Prove me wrong!

–As I’m writing this, Ilya Kovalchuk’s contract was rejected by the NHL. Should be great fun to see what happens next in this saga.

Hey, you think Lamoriello snitched on his owner to Bettman about this one? Yeah, I’m thinking he did.

–Did you hear that Simon Gagne was traded to Tampa for Matt Walker? I’m totally convinced that Holmgren just wants to be Yzerman’s friend and is doing his best to facilitate that process.

Contract up? High five!

–Let’s talk about the Los Angeles Kings and the belief that they’re missing out on everybody this off-season…

I’ve read the Kings need a top-4 defenseman. They have Doughty, Jack Johnson, Scuderi and Greene. They are one or two years away from icing Thomas Hickey (potential top-4 offensive defenseman) and Colten Teubert (physical defenseman who is raw but has the potential to be a top-4 defenseman even with the setbacks).

This is why I was surprised that the Kings were in the running to sign Paul Martin. With Doughty (should get at least $6m) and Johnson (could get $3m if he builds on his progress from last season) up, I’m not sure throwing $5m on another defenseman would have been prudent. If I was the Lombardi, I’d just try to bring in some lower-priced talent like Andy Sutton to bridge the gap to Hickey and Teubert.

I’ve read the Kings need a second line center. Jarret Stoll is signed for the next two years. He’s decent filler as a 2C until Brayden Schenn is ready to assume that role.

I’ve read that the Kings need a left winger. This one I agree with. Kovalchuk would have been a good fit (other than the potential future cap problems) but Gagne would have been an even better fit.

If they managed to get Gagne, they would have gotten the LW help they need without any long-term money commitment that could screw them cap-wise in the future. Gagne really was THE perfect fit. I can only assume that Simon wouldn’t waive his NTC to go to LA because I’m pretty certain that Lombardi was offering something better than Matt Walker.

Now, I imagine they’d probably have to sign either Frolov, Ponikarovsky or maybe even Paul Kariya. All of whom come with their own set of issues.

–Adrian Dater recently put up his top 10 goalie list, which is good for two things: 1) traffic to his article, and 2) causing outrage amongst the internet masses.

I AM OUTRAGED AT THE LIST!

Nah, I’m just mildly amused how anyone could put Bryzgalov (#2) and Craig Anderson (#4) ahead of Roberto Luongo (#5) and Henrik Lundqvist (#8). Smells like recency bias to me.

For the record, if this Emperor had to create a list of goalies he’d want for the upcoming season, it would look like this:

1. Martin Brodeur – The surest thing in goal until he proves otherwise — which, at 38, he may very well do this season.
2. Roberto Luongo – He had an off year, but my money is on him to bounce back, especially with no chance of ever seeing Byfuglien in the playoffs again.
3. Henrik Lundqvist – I have him at #3 because he deserves some respect, dammit! Plus, he’s been a pillar of my fantasy teams for years so I’m biased (like Dater with his Craig Anderson at #4 pick).
4. Ryan Miller – Based on last season, he should be at the top, but let’s see him do it again before we anoint him “great”.
5. Tomas Vokun – Back-to-back years of a .925 SV% can’t be ignored, even though they’re probably due to opposing players just flicking it on goal to kill time.
6. The rest are all interchangeable filler based on year to year. Probably would have Niklas Backstrom at #6, although he’s better as a #1 center (ha ha, I so funny!).

And there you have it! A list that you can NOT argue with because it’s PERFECT and AMAZING and JUST WHOA! (If you do argue, I’m just going to ignore you… or worse: call you “unsmart!”).

–That is all for now. If you’re not following on Twitter, please do so. When I get to 1000 followers, I’ll change my moniker again, from “Emperor” to “God” and that’s going to be…AWESOME!

(Quite frankly, life is not all about jokes. Some articles call for serious thought, and this, my friends, is one of those articles. Think of this as my Adam Sandler moment — after bombing in Little Nicky, I unload Punch-Drunk Love unto the world. It’s going to be bad. That being said…enjoy! )

– Before I start blowing your mind with my thoughts on the hockey world, let me first welcome all the new Blades of Funny readers who are joining us after the mega-successful high school post.  Fist bump!

–Let me start with the Blackhawks-Canucks series. You know why the Hawks won? Because they are the better team. They skate better, they score better, they play defense better, and they play the physical game better. Sure, they have their brain farts due to their age, but when they’re on, they’re lethal.

–With that said, let’s tear down the Canucks. I’m not saying that I’m a better coach than Alain Vigneault — I’d probably do some rash things after Game 4 like send O’Brien out to Bertuzzi Dustin Byfuglien, bench Luongo in favor of Raycroft, call up 1/2 my AHL team, and stab Mike Gillis multiple times for assembling this D-core — but even I would start 7 defensemen if one of them had a testicle injury.

–One thing I don’t get about the Canucks is why they don’t deploy a more defensive system (their defensive play was almost Caps-like in the Hawks series…almost). If you have a goalie in Luongo that’s supposed to be elite then why not optimize his talent with a sound defensive strategy. The way they do things now is comparable to a 60-year-old man who has a smokin’ hot 20-year-old trophy wife but doesn’t fill his viagra prescription. Not the best use of the assets at your disposal.

–It’s now safe to say that comparisons of Luongo to Brodeur and Roy were premature. Comparisons of Halak to Dryden and Roy, also premature.

–I’ve heard some people compare the Canucks to the Sharks. While they no doubt stole Luongo via trade, they still have a long ways to go to match the Sharks trifecta of thievery in acquiring Thornton, Heatley, and Boyle.

–Is there a better defensive pairing in the league than Keith-Seabrook? NO!

–I was never much of a Habs fan but it’s hard not to get behind this team. Oh my gawd, did I just write that? WTF IS HAPPENING???

–PK Subban. That’s what’s happening. He even makes the Habs cool.

–Enough playoff talk. Let’s talk about the Coyotes ownership issue. <yawn>Let’s not.</yawn>

–Let’s talk about Olli Jokinen instead (he so funny). There were rumors that he’s jumping to the KHL, which got me thinking about who else might do the same. My money is on Alexander Ovechkin Frolov. I read that his agent wants $5 million a season. So yeah, Siberia sounds about right.

–Sticking with the Jokinen theme. You could say that Darryl Sutter traded Matthew Lombardi, Michael Cammalleri, and the 13th overall pick in this years draft for Ales Kotalik. You could say that, though Darryl Sutter probably doesn’t want you to.

–Something I heard on the radio this week: I think I was listening to a Vancouver station when the host said the Flames franchise is in much better shape than the Oilers. The argument he used to make his point was that the Oilers have the 1st overall pick, Jordan Eberle and not much else, whereas the Flames almost made the playoffs.

[FACEPALM]

At this point I think I’d take the 1st overall pick + Eberle +  Magnus Paajarvi-Svensson (thank you, Google!) + Hemsky + Penner who showed improvement this year + Sam Gagner over an aging team with no real blue chip prospects besides, maybe, Backlund.

Over the next year or two the Flames should be the better team, but the Oilers future is much brighter in my humble opinion.

–Still on the Oilers front, I think they should draft Tayor Hall. I base this on nothing more than the hype that’s always surrounded him. In my opinion that makes him the safer pick of the two. Scouts may scoff at my reasoning but let’s pick a random draft…hmmm…1999.

Patrik Stefan went #1, Sedins went #2 and #3. Now, I don’t remember what the hype was 2 years prior to that draft, but I imagine two red-haired Swedish hockey-playing twins must have garnered more attention than Stefan. My point is proven. Fire your scouts and monitor internet buzz instead.

–Speaking of prospects, I had a talk with a buddy of mine who’s a Leafs fan. He kept talking about Kadri this and Kadri that. How Kadri lit up the OHL, how Kadri will be dynamite with Kessel, and how Kadri will lead the Leafs to the playoffs.

Jiri Tlusty popped into my head but I decided to spare him the pain. Instead, I told him that the progress of Schenn and Phaneuf’s ability to regain his 07-08 form is what holds the key to the 2010-11 Leafs. He just replied: “Kadri?…Kadri?…KADRI!!!”

–The most humorous thing about the playoffs is flip-flopping fans\media. Each win is met with unbridled optimism, each loss renews calls for the end is nigh.

–Remember in the last Serious Thoughts post I wrote about my man-crush on Justin from Bourne’s Blog? Well, sad to report that things ended up kind of messy on that front.

Big news on the Twitter front: 500 FOLLOWERS! Many said it couldn’t be done but I proved them wrong. My latest scheme to get followers involves using religion as evidenced by this tweet I sent out last night:

Credit: GreekBoston.com

While the hockey media was busy fighting amongst themselves on Twitter, Blades of Funny decided to launch thorough investigations into some of the hockey stories that have been making headlines. What you are about to read will shock you. Sadly, however, it will not make you laugh.

Myth: In a fit of rage about his team’s play, Lou Lamoriello hurled a jar of jelly at the wall to show his players how upset he was.

Truth: A jar of jelly is Brodeur’s traditional appetizer for every post-game meal; Lou was just handing it over to Marty — sort of how a trainer hands fish to a whale — and, unfortunately but not unexpectedly, the jar went through Marty’s five-hole and exploded when it hit the wall behind him. This then led Lamoriello to mumble something under his breath about “flying projectiles”, “washed-up has-beens”, and “not a good idea”.

Myth: The Green Men who hang around the visitors’ penalty box in Vancouver are just a couple of lighthearted Canucks fans.

Truth: Secret documents have revealed to us that these “green men” are actually covert Maple Leaf operatives, sent there by Brian Burke and Dave Nonis to convince upcoming truculent UFAs to sign with the Leafs come July 1st.

Myth: Oilers management decided to fire some of their support staff in an attempt to bring new blood into the room.

Truth: They didn’t get fired, they asked to be… [hits breaks on beating a dead horse] …

They were fired as a result of the team’s new policy to mend their relationship with ultra-sensitive defenseman Sheldon Souray. Blades of Funny insiders tell us that the following events led to the demise of each employee:

• Head trainer Ken Lowe was once overheard saying that he thought Souray’s tattoos are kind of cheesy. When news of this made its way back to Souray, he cried for a week.
• Equipment manager Barry Stafford once mistakenly handed Sheldon a Horcoff stick. Souray assumed that this gesture was Stafford’s way to imply that he was overpaid. Souray cried for a week.
• Equipment manager Lyle Kulchisky run afoul with Souray when he flat-out refused to give up the nickname “Sparky”. Sheldon really wanted the moniker, and Lyle’s resistance to give it to him made Sheldon think that Lyle hated him. This caused Souray to cry for a week.

(Photo credit: bare-chested Souray comes courtesy of Hockey For The Ladies. And to answer the question on your mind right now; yes…yes, it is the hockey blog which I frequent the most.)

Myth: The NHL is bending its rules so that a big-market team like the Kings advance deep into the playoffs.

Truth: Due to compelling evidence presented to us by sources in Vancouver, we’re sad to inform you that this is, in fact, true. Fortunately, the NHL brain trust’s implementation of their plan has been as smooth and successful as most everything they touch. This leads us to assure small-market fans that they have nothing to worry about. On the other hand, fans of big-market teams are pretty much screwed.

Myth: Dion Phaneuf will be named Toronto’s captain because he exemplifies all the qualities that Leafs management is looking for in a captain.

Truth: In October, Burke was quoted saying the following when asked about what it takes to be a Maple Leafs captain:

First off, a captain’s personal life off the ice and his play on the ice must be beyond reproach.”

So yeah, we’re not quite sure what the truth really is, but we’re pretty sure it isn’t THAT.

The End.

Shocking news on the Twitter front!!! Blades of Funny now has 351 followers; 349 of whom are being kind enough to teach me how I can make money in my spare time at home. God bless the kind and generous souls who frequent the internet.

(Quite frankly, life is not all about jokes. Some articles call for serious thought, and this, my friends, is one of those articles. Think of this as my Adam Sandler moment — after bombing in Little Nicky, I unload Punch-Drunk Love unto the world. It’s going to be bad. That being said…enjoy! )

Credit: flickr MrNews1320

–Quick question: If Martin Brodeur asked you to choose a song for his summer soundtrack, which one would you choose? I’d go with Toby Keith’s “As Good As I Once Was”. The chorus for your reference:

I ain’t as good as I once was
I got a few years on me now
But there was a time back in my prime
When I could really lay it down
And if you need some love tonight
Then I might have just enough
I ain’t as good as I once was
But I’m as good once as I ever was

And to boot, the first verse contains a sister reference, so it’s a double score! Actually, if you factor in the fact that Marty and Toby have the same body-type, it’s a triple score!

What about for Lou Lamoriello? I’d choose David Bowie’s “The Man Who Sold The World”, a wonderful melody about a man who no longer recognizes who he used to be. Some sample lyrics for your reference:

We passed upon the stair, we spoke of was and when
Although I wasn’t there, he said I was his friend
Which came as some surprise I spoke into his eyes
I thought you died alone, a long long time ago

And to boot, after the Kovalchuk trade, the title itself is quite fitting as well. Although, an improvised version of another song may be even more fitting for that storyline…

Old MacDonald had a farm,
ee i ee i oh
And on that farm all he had was Mattias Tedenby
ee i ee i oh no!

These are the things I think about in my waking hours. Don’t ask me why ’cause there really is no rhyme or reason to it.

—In fairness to Brodeur, Jonathan Willis wrote a pretty good piece in defense of Marty. I tend to agree with this, although after the Olympics and last year’s meltdown, it’s hard to argue that Marty has not lost some of his mystique.

–Are the Capitals the most difficult team to get a read on in this post-season? One period, they look like world beaters. The next, they look nervous and tentative. And they’re like that against the Habs, so imagine when the competition improves. I got the same vibe from them last year.

–Martin’s decision to start Price in game 4 is one that I don’t understand; the only good that could have come out of it is if Carey stole the game, and the chances of that ever happening — against the Caps, no less (he had a 3.39 GAA/.899 SV% in 4 games vs. WSH this season) — are what? 1 in 200?

–Please excuse me while I implement a savvy marketing strategy for this blog. (Tim Tebow will be a bust, Tim Tebow will be a star, Tim Tebow is Satan, Tim Tebow is God, Time Tebow wants you to watch hockey, Tim Tebow doesn’t want you to watch hockey, Tim Tebow, Tim Tebow, Tim Tebow). Done. I just doubled traffic to this blog, and increased US hockey ratings tenfold. Saaaavvy! (I love that word.)

–I keep hearing about what a savvy (oh yeah!) signing Mikael Samuelsson was. While I do agree that it turned out really well for Vancouver, I do take objection to when people say it was the best. Without doubt (in my mind so take that for what it’s worth…ie: not much), Craig Anderson was the best off-season signing.

Now, let me rephrase what I just wrote in a “brash blogger” tone:

All the idiots who think that Mikael Samuelsson was the best signing this summer should be watching equestrian events instead of hockey because they know nothing about the sport. If they had half a brain, they’d know that Craig Anderson has been much more valuable to the Avs than anyone in the history of anything. Anyone who thinks otherwise should die. I AM AWESOME!

–Speaking of a “brash blogger tone”, here is a very calm and coherent piece by a Red Wings fan who doesn’t take things personally:

Those bi$#hes can suck it.  While Lidstrom may not deserve to win the Norris this season, he deserves to be a finalist.  No fauxing doubt about it.

By not voting for Lidstrom in a higher position, the pro hockey writers prove that they don’t watch hockey at all.  They put their blind faith in something far less useful.

Stats.  The pro hockey writers use stats as a crutch to replace actually watching lots of hockey.  It is now official.  The Norris Trophy will be the equivalent of the Art Ross Trophy for defenceman

[...]

There is no way Lidstrom is only the fourth best defenceman this season.  Stats have blinded you like chronic masturbation did in your teenage years.

I have to give him props for the “chronic masturbation” line, that’s solid material right there. If anybody knows him, tell him that I said LIDSTROM SUCKS!

–Actually, please don’t tell him that. I talk a big game online, but in reality, I am easily intimidated and not much of a fighter. This guy does seem like the type who will show up at my door and stab me in the eye with a pencil…I really don’t want a pencil in my eye.

Credit: flickr Teka England

–The Norris debate has been quite heated though. Anyone who is not a Capitals fan is hating on Mike Green. Why? If I were to venture a guess, it’s his personality that turns people off rather than his on-ice play. He’s the type of person that you either like or would like to stab in the eye with a pencil. No gray area.

–When people talk about studly young defensemen, the talk centers around Doughty, Green, Keith, Myers and Weber. One name that will surely be added to that list over the next year or two is Victor Hedman. In fact, I believe he’ll be the biggest reason preventing Doughty from Lidstromizing the Norris Trophy over the next decade.

–Erik Johnson will be right up there as well. Especially if he gives up the game of golf.

–The series I have been watching the most so far is Kings-Canucks. Great end-to-end action and all-around intrigue. That being said, the Kings fell apart like a Mr. Potato Head in the 3rd period of game 4. This video pretty much sums up the series since then (for those that don’t want to click over, it’s the Rypien-Clune fight). I also have to give kudos to Luongo for his big saves in said 3rd period. I’m sure he’ll be quite happy when he reads what I just wrote.

–The series I’ve been watching the least? Chicago-Nashville. Being that it’s always a game behind the rest, it comes off like the ugly stepsister of the first round. That, or maybe because I find nobody on the Preds very interesting to watch, save for Weber and Sullivan.

–With the disastrous seasons in Edmonton and Calgary, the comical events in Toronto and Montreal, and the general success in Vancouver, one team which hasn’t been getting enough play this year is Ottawa. Maybe it’s because Ottawa is just one big traffic jam, but still, they do deserve credit for what they have done this season. Bryan Murray and Cory Clouston managed to turn the franchise around despite distractions and injuries…and let’s not forget how adorable Clouston looks behind the bench.

This concludes “Serious Thoughts”. If you’re reading this, then that means you must think I am totally awesome. Why not get bigger piece awesome by following Blades of Funny on twitter. I promise you it’ll be awesome…and saaaaavvy!