Some quick thoughts as I take a break from researching snow blowers. Damn, no good global warming really messed up my driveway last winter by not showing the eff up.

– Very impressed with the Colorado Avalanche so far this year. That team is just stacked with youth. This Landeskog kid looks real good. And you know what, I think I may have been wrong by mocking Sherman for giving up a 1st rounder for Varlamov. Though let the record show that I was just joining in with the mob on that one!

Of course,  I say all this after they beat the Sens 7-1 and that could prove to be the high point of their season. All down hill from here!*

* Nah, they’ll be fine.

– Luongo has been fantastic in his first two games. Fantastic at making snow angels that is. Granted, he always starts off slow but you’ve got to wonder if we’re going to see him decline from now on. Say what you want about him, he’s been a pretty damn good goalie over the years. If not for his mental issues, he could have been great. Just don’t see much positives there anymore at 32 years of age. It’s a prime age for handsome bloggers such as yours truly to make their mark on the world but not goalies with 12 years of experience in the league already.

So what would you do if you were the Canucks? I’d really have a hard time trading Cory Schneider. In fact, I think I’d do everything I can to try to convince Schneider to sign on for a couple more years with the promise that if he keeps up his stellar play, he’d have every shot at taking over as the starter.

This also once again points out the danger of these long contracts. They’re always good for the short-term but so many things change yearly that they’re really a death sentence in the long run.

– Don Cherry is a good guy. I don’t care what people say about him and his opinions, to me, he’ll always be a good guy. I believe at the end of the day he means well. I don’t agree with everything he says but there are also many things I do agree on. I guess that’s bound to happen when you voice opinions on touchy subjects every week. And there’s something that differentiates Cherry from guys like Roenick or Milbury or other loudmouths whether they be in politics or whatever. I’m not sure what it is; It may be childhood memories of watching Coach’s Corner; Or it may be that he doesn’t strike me as someone who’s fake like so many of these shock jocks do.

Maybe it’s because of his age. The more I think about it, the more I think that’s the thing. Because if someone younger was saying that, I probably wouldn’t feel the same. You gotta admire a man who has forged his own beliefs over his lifetime and sticks by them. No matter how much of a sonofabitch you think he is, you still gotta respect him for that. And I do.

– But his comments about Nilan were all wrong. Because from what I read, Nilan did not say what Cherry said he said.

– That’s all for now. I’ll leave you with this: If you’re not watching Boardwalk Empire on HBO, you’re missing out. By far the best show going right now, imo.

Well, yesterday, I made broke the new Bruins  Bear ads for the Finals. Today, my other top secret source, this time in the Canucks organization, sent me these new mock-ups featuring Lumberjack Willy.

Don’t forget to follow BoF on Twitter.

Secret sources inside the Bruins organization tipped me off to these new Bruin Bear ads…

Don’t forget to follow BoF on Twitter.

Senile auctioneer Dale Tallon seen here auctioning off his assets to an empty room.

For those of you wondering how much the car repair bill from my last post came to, it was $1500. To raise the cash I had to spend all of February on the street corner turning tricks However, due to “shrinkage” thanks to this awful winter we’re having, I still came up short — at least that’s the excuse I’m sticking to! So now you know why posting has been so light lately.

Here are some thoughts while I bathe the ashamed stench from my body, replacing it with the ashamed stench of a grown man who takes baths.

–Hey, remember the last post where I wrote these brilliant words:

I don’t have much hockey commentary today, but if there was such a thing as being able to buy the Devils stock right now, I’d do it.

PAT ON THE BACK FOR ME! I AM SO EFFIN’ SMART!

//ignores preseason post where he had the Devils ranked #4 overall.

–I didn’t participate much on Twitter lately but there were great laughs to be had at the expense of silly reporters on deadline day. Puck Daddy had a great review of all the shenanigans. It’s funny ’cause so many of these media guys take themselves and their jobs so seriously, but in reality they’re just like you and me!

–Speaking of deadline day, let’s talk about the subject of this post: Dale Tallon.

Look, I get the whole “blowing up the team because it sucks and is going nowhere” but besides Niclas Bergfors, Tallon got absolutely nothing in return in this latest fire sale. In fact, if you go back to the Horton and Ballard trades, Tallon really only got Bergfors and two late 1st round picks (used select Nick Njugstad and Quinton Howden). What’s worse is that he’ll probably lose Vokoun for nothing in the summer and still has the Olesz ($3,125,00 untill 2014) and Booth ($4,250,00 until 2015) contracts on the books.

The best trade Tallon made was getting Grabner in the Ballard trade but he then promptly waived Grabner who now has 25 goals and is a +9 (and is used to kill penalties!!!) on Long Island. Hindsight is 20-20 you say, but I voiced this opinion throughout the summer/fall. Grabner is notorious for having crappy training camps so I’m pretty sure Tallon had no clue as to what type of player he was getting in him.

PAT ON THE BACK FOR ME! I AM SO EFFIN’ SMART!

//ignores preseason post where he had Tampa Bay ranked #21 overall.

So yeah, Tallon gets a pass because of what he did in Chicago but he made some pretty boneheaded moves over there too.

In conclusion, I am like totally way smarter than Dale Tallon.

The photo Gonchar used on Match.com to lure Bryan Murray last summer.

–Sergei Gonchar has two more years left at $5,500,000!

In conclusion, I am like totally way smarter than Bryan Murray.

–Both the Erik Johnson/1st rounder for Chris Stewart/Kevin Shattenkirk and James Neal/Niskanen for Alex Goligoski trades were pretty fair and good for all teams involved. I’ve read people who chose sides and blasted the trades but I don’t see that as a reasonable take. Every one of those teams got what they needed/wanted.

–If I had to chose one player I’d want out of that bunch, I’d be Erik Johnson. My only concern with him is that he doesn’t strike me as the smartest cat around but hopefully that’ll change with experience and age.

–My wife watched the Oscars so I caught a bit of it (I would ever watch such a non-manly show on my own). People are blasting James Franco as a host, calling him too relaxed and carefree. To those people, I ask: what the f^%k did you expect from Franco? That’s his whole shtick and I’ve never seen him not be himself.

In conclusion, the Oscars and the people who watch them are silly.

//waves goodbye to the one female who reads this blog.

“Bye, Mom!”

–I had a chance to watch a few Ranger games this month (gambling will do that to you) and I was mightily impressed with Ryan McDonagh. That kid is going to be a very fine defenseman in this league for many years to come. Sucks for Habs fans.

–I was looking at the odds to win the Stanley Cup recently and the one that really stuck out for me was Nashville at 34 to 1. Good value there, my friends. The Preds totally strike me as a team built for the playoff grind.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, having the Lightning at 11 to 1 is just silly. No way they win more than one round (if that).

–You know, there’s a chance that Vancouver could meet Chicago in the 1st round and that would be truly epic. I’m sure Canuck fans are relieved they no longer have Big Buff to contend with, but if I were the Hawks coaching staff, I’d call up Kyle Beach, team him up with John Scott, plant both in Luongo’s crease and then count how long it takes for the ‘Nucks to self-destruct. I’d have the self-destruction over/under line set at 2.5 shifts.

–I’m already laughing at the team which overpays a 31-year-old Brad Richards in the summer. Not Gonchar-esque laughing but laughing nevertheless.

–That is all for today. Follow along on Twitter, I’ve lost some followers and would like to get them back just so I could block their rude asses for unfollowing me. You just don’t do such a thing to a man!

–OH, BEFORE I GO. LEAVE SOME COMMENTS, OTHERWISE I WON’T BLOG AGAIN . Yes, that was an empty threat and a pathetic display to get some attention from my reader(s).

Note: Not Really A Button

Yesterday, while we were driving back from a day at the zoo, my kids (5 and 4) came up with the groundwork for a holiday called “Fart Day”. The holiday would be held every September 2nd and one of the customs of Fart Day is when you see someone, you say “Happy Fart Day!”; to which the other person replies by sticking his butt out and making fart sounds.

Also, the day after “Fart Day” shall be known as “Stinky Day”.

I was quite proud of their creativity and I can certainly see them writing on here in the future.

Now let’s get on to some hockey talk (kinda)…

–If Roberto Luongo’s mind is as fragile as I believe it to be, how is he coping with the possibility of his mega-contract getting tossed out? I don’t care how much money you have or what reassuring words you’ve been told by management, when both the security and the $60 million you thought you had are being messed with, it can’t be all that pleasant.

Personally, I’d be a nervous wreck. Heck, even if the money was in my account, I’d still be a nervous wreck fearing someone would steal it. I don’t need or want that kind of stress (lie). I have enough sleepless nights worrying about small things like the monthly bills (not a lie). I can’t even imagine how I’d get any sleep knowing that some crooked bank teller could, at any moment, siphon millions of my dollars to some Eastern Bloc country. Yeah, I’d go straight-up Howard Hughes crazy.

Sign changed to: "Niemi Has No Balls"

–Sharks fans must be happy now that Antti Niemi is on board. I don’t really know how the move benefits Niemi though.

I assume the arbitration hearing (or as I like to call it: “reasons why you suck hearing”) and the subsequent dumping created hard feelings, which caused him to overlook any deficiencies in his new partner just so he could show-up his old partner.

Sort of like when you’re in your early 20′s and your ex-girlfriend dumps you after telling you how awful you are. Naturally, you go find the hottest girl you can just to show ‘em. In that situation, you tend to overlook certain things in your new partner… things like the rumors going around town that she’s a stripper, has a few addictions and is straight-up crazy. You don’t care about these things ’cause she’s a Presidents’ Trophy contender hot.

But eventually, like say when you’re at some strip club three towns over on a Tuesday night conversing with a 50-year-old man who’s missing a few teeth and wants to know what it’s like to hit that (“that” being your new mate who is dancing on stage), you start to rethink your life choices and eventually you get your mind straight.

Anyways, I don’t know if the Niemi thing is like that or not but it’ll be interesting to see how his career plays out from here.

–I want to do a season preview but I don’t think I have it in me to do team-by-team previews (30 posts). I’m thinking I’ll do a reverse ranking preview with 5 teams per post (so first post would be ranking teams 30 to 25). That will not only ease my workload but also allow me to make some ridiculous predictions and piss off a few people.

So yeah, get ready for team #30, the Tampa Bay Lightning, as I continue to hate on Steve Yzerman for no reason at all.

That’s a joke. They’ll actually be #29.

–If you’re excited for this, keep in mind that I’ll probably get lazy and stop after I get to team #23. So really, this “season preview feature” will just consist of 1.5 posts. HA! In your face, enthusiastic readers!

–If you’re a blogger and want to get accreditation, here’s a pretty good read by The Goalie Guild on the subject.

The chances of BoF getting accredited are about the same as that stripper in the story above becoming “marriage material”, but I did take away one point which I can use on BoF…

What is your own mission statement? Do you make it very clear that you are committed to covering your team in a professional and informative way? Or do you just randomly post sarcastic, sometimes derisive posts about the players and the way the team performs on the ice?

This got me thinking: what is the BoF mission statement?  After a few minutes, I came up with this gem:

ALWAYS. ACT. LIKE. A. JACKASS. (but do it in a good-natured way rather than an internet warrior way).

There you have it!

Close seconds…

Grammar: overrated like Jaroslav Halak; Facts: pffft, up yours!

and

It is my duty and that of this blog to show the world that I know more about hockey than Steve Yzerman and I shall not stop until the world acknowledges the fact that Yzerman is a fraud who has put a spell on the entire hockey media. Nothing you see on TV or read about, outside of this blog, which relates to the Lightning can be trusted. Ever. (Especially should stories or images come out next June that Tampa Bay has won the Stanley Cup.)

–As you’ve pretty much gathered from this post, there isn’t much in the way of hockey that I want to talk about. The Ilya Kovalchuk story is about as fun to write about at this point as I imagine the Coyotes story was last summer. So nah, not happening here.

–Speaking of the Coyotes, I must say that I wasn’t surprised that Ice Edge couldn’t close. When they set up their Twitter account and were joking around on it and acting like I would if I were put in such a situation, that pretty much told me they couldn’t be taken seriously.

–BizNasty is back on Twitter! Thanks to Justin Bourne for the heads up on that.

–A couple things regarding the site…

• I am going to formally adapt the moniker “Blades” from now on. This nickname was given to me by Kevin, so according to Man Rule #127 (which states that a man’s nickname can only be given to him by another man), it’s all kosher and on the up-and-up.
• I am going to play around with the site a bit and try to put in some more ads. This is on the request of my wife that I bring in more of that Google cash which she can then turn into cosmetics. *shrug*

–That’s all for today. I would apologize for the lack of actual hockey content in this post but I think you should be thanking me for not talking about the CBA and Ilya. So you’re welcome!

Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter. I haven’t tweeted much the last week, yet I still gained followers. That’s in contrast to when I do post frequently and end up losing followers. Weird, huh?